Sunday, September 11, 2011

Hair Metal Hell: Tryx-Tryx

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Andy says-

If ever there was an album cover that just screamed "Just put this down and walk away now for your own good man!" this 1991 album by Tryx is it. Formed in 1986 (first in Fort Lauderdale, Florida before moving to New York, New York before finally taking their "act" to Los Angeles) Tryx released a handful of demos, a EP and this full-length abomination. When people look back at glam metal and snicker you just have to believe that bands like Tryx are the main cause. Where to begin. Well, the album cover is truly awful yes. I get that you want to look the part guys but man it's like a convention of the world's ugliest Poison imposters. Sounding like a poor man's Poison is bad enough let alone dressing like them. Strike that you sound like a dying version of Poison that has been left to die in a gutter somewhere. The production job is awful. It sounds as if the album was recorded in a closet. The music is dreadful. It isn't that it lacks life it actually sucks life out from everything around it. Meaningless and hollow this is not just bubblegum pop metal. No, that would be an insult to both bubblegum and pop not to mention metal. This is more like turd rock. When you do a cover of "Sugar Sugar" and you make The Archies sound not only good but heavy by comparison well...that takes things to a whole new low. The fact is that try as I might I couldn't find one instance where you could justify actually paying someone money to lay this garbage to tape. The fact that they might have actually had a record company interested in them makes me shudder for all those bands who never made it. In Hair Metal Hell there should be a special place for PR people that signed crap like this.



Checklist
Out of tune vocals- 4, There is out of tune and then there is this guy. "Singing" must be a foreign idea in his world.

Wanna be rockstar guitars- 5, Every time I think I've heard some of the worst guitar playing of my life some new band comes along to amaze me. Tryx has opened my eyes to just how much a guitar solo can be tortured.


More hairspray than bass- 5, Where's the bass? I don't think they actually had a bass player. Either that or he never bothered to plug it in.


One dimensional drum beats-4, Tin can drummer wanted. No experience necessary.


Make me wanna puke ballad- 5, I'm not sure these songs even qualify as ballads. That would make it sound as if they were even slightly well crafted "songs".


Metal Mark says-
There were quite a few hair metal bands going in the mid-80's, but between about 1988 and 1991 the floodgates really opened up and tons of the bands were popping otu everywhere. Unfortunately quantity doesn't always mean quality. Hair spray, eyeshadow and bright spandex didn't always mean a band could play their instruments or write anything worth hearing. There are plenty examples that support that theory. For today Tryx will be the example. I can just imagine these genius wannabe rockstars sitting around the breakfast table trying to come up with a cool band name and they looked no further than their breakfast cereal. One of them said "We should call ourselves Trix" and another Einstein in the band "Dude, it would super cool if we change the spelling so let's be Tryx". The rest of them agree and they began doing the important things like designing the logo and put minor items like rehearsing on the back burner. Anyways in the mid-80's I think a number of glam/hair bands were influenced by acts like Motley Crue, Ratt and Twisted Sister which was fine, but things changed in the mid-80's. I don't hate Poison per say, buy even at their best they were so basic. When their debut hit in 1986 it became an influence for a lot of bands who cared more about making a quick buck than they did about trying to become better as a band. So this long winded rant is leading to the fact that Tryx try hard to sound like Poison plus there's some Warrant mixed in too. There are lots of sugary songs and the singer likes to say "baby" a whole lot. This is horrible fluff with little of value. Their ballad "Hold on" will have you throwing up your lunch and then you'll run to get your old Maiden and Priest albums out to cleanse your ears. I'm with Andy about "Sugar, sugar". Don't do a cover if you handle it and if you struggle to cover the Archies then you probably shouldn't be in a band at all. At some point during the recording of this album someone should have said "this is wrong, just put down those instruments, back away, leave and never think about recording again in your lives".

Out of tune vocals- 4, The singer is way off and he just keeps trying to hold onto those notes making my eardrums scream for mercy. Even the back-up vocals were limp.

Wanna be rockstar guitars- 5, This guy wasn't just poor and pathetic but he was actually struggling to get up to being poor and pathetic.

More hairspray than bass- 5, I am guessing the bass player was the guy with the biggest hair because I don't know else he was here.

One dimensional drum beats-3, This guy was playing very simple stuff and he wasn't that good. However given how worthless the guitarist was if you listen closely at least this guy managed to keep the "music" going. And anyone who helped advance these songs to their end deserves a little credit.

Make me wanna puke ballad- 5, What's worse than a terrible power ballad? Two terrible power ballads. What's worse than two terrible ballads? Being stupid and cruel enough to put them back to back on your album.
Scorecard-
Andy gave them a 23
Metal Mark gave them a 22

So the final word should be avoid as in take our words for it and don't go near this one. Oh and don't think that their EP might be better because I heard that one too and in this case the EP should stand for "extra pain".

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